Fat 'n Happy the Rooster Byzantine Cross

Just Another Jim
writes about
Eastern Orthodoxy


Essays on Eastern Orthodoxy

In Defense of Gossip

Essay on the Orthodox Understanding of Sin, pt. 2 of 2
June 7, 2006

Page 1 - Page 2

(Continued from p. 1.)

There was a community of monks in southern Palestine (Gaza) in the early part of the sixth century. We know about them primarily from the collected writings of two of the community leaders, Barsanuphius and John. It is from their writings that I discovered this idea that everything we say is evil to the extent that evil resides in our heart (or mind, or however you want to conceptualize that). Before we consider the directives given by Barsanuphius and John, we must remember that rules for living in a monastic setting are quite different than they are for people in the world. Things that seem petty and arbitrary for us became very important as the different monks entered into specific disciplines that would bring them more fully into the likeness of God. Their rules of speaking fit this category. They are not directly applicable to us, but rather point to broad principles that reveal a great deal about sin and holiness.

In summary, Barsanuphius and John taught that we would be much better off if we said nothing at all and simply lived in complete silence. But that discipline wasn’t realistic even for the monks, much less for us who live in the world. Given the reality that we can’t maintain silence, how should we converse with others? In the answers to the following questions, John tries to flesh out what controlling the tongue meant in that ancient monastic setting:

470. Question: There are certain conversations that are indifferent, bearing neither sin nor profit. These may include conversations with someone about, say, the prosperity of cities or their turmoil or peace, or about wars that are going to break out, or other such matters. Is it inappropriate to speak about these matters as well?

Response by John: If silence is necessary even during conversations about good matters, how much more so in matters that are indifferent? However, if we cannot keep silent, being overcome by conversing with others, let us at least not prolong the conversation in order not to fall into the snare of the enemy through chattering too much.

471. Question. Well, there are many occasions when I come to such chattering by discussing matters that are indifferent; and no one escapes sin by chattering. So what should I do?

Response by John: Let us maintain some measure for ourselves in this way. If we have noticed that we have been overcome by the thought to speak once, then let us try our best to prevent this from happening a second time. If we are overcome a second time, then let us be prepared to prevent it from happening a third time; and let us progress in this way during every conversation. So, if the number of occasions that we are given to speak is ten, and one is overcome by temptation nine times and prevents it on the tenth, then one is found to be better than the other who has been overcome by the temptation to speak ten times.

472. Question. Now, if I find myself among people speaking about certain matters, whether fleshly or spiritual, what should I do? Speak or not?

Answer: If you find yourself in the company of people conversing about either worldly or spiritual matters give the impression that you too are contributing something, while saying nothing that harms the soul. . . .

Given our propensity to sin, it would be better to live in silence and not give substance to the sin that so easily besets us.

But that is not an option for all of us who aren’t hermits. Instead, what we can do is be vigorously attentive to what comes out of our mouth and ruthlessly honest as to its content. In that way we will have some measure of the sin that continues to darken our soul. (This idea of turning our words into a measuring stick of our sinful hearts is the point of John’s answer to question 471.) With that measuring stick in hand, with this substantial evil (of our empty or evil conversation) firmly in our grasp, we can turn to our mind and say, “See here, deceitful mind, I am indeed sinful and I am going to stop.” And with that resolve we can turn to God and repent our sin, thus cleansing and enlightening the heart, however momentarily.

And so it is that I freely admit that I not only gossip, I am a gossip! But it is precisely that gossip which I can use to fend off the dark sinfulness of the heart and deceitfulness of the mind that conspire to keep me from God.

This whole line of inquiry came about as a result of a family reunion I attended over Memorial Day weekend. I find my family to be a most excellent mirror of my own failures. (After all, if I were to pay attention to popular psychology, my own failures are all their fault!) I can easily justify my gossipy tongue in this context: It’s not that I am gossiping, it’s that I am examining my own sinful heart by considering (out loud) the many failures of my family. (Of course, who am I kidding? I doubt the Apostle James, listening up in heaven, falls for that silliness. It turns out my relatives didn’t. You probably don’t either.)

But John, the sixth century Palestinian monk, shows me the silver lining behind this dark cloud of gossip. It’s a measuring stick. And now that it’s out there in the open, it’s solid evidence against my ever-tricky and deceitful mind as to the state of my inner being. And now, with evidence firmly in my grasp, it’s the first step toward true repentance which may yet one day lead to real divine goodness indwelling my heart and enlightening my nous.

Although, in retrospect, that’s a lot of hard work, and it probably would have been easier to take my grandmother’s advice: If I can’t say something good about someone, maybe I shouldn’t say anything at all.

Page 1 - Page 2